Sunday, September 23, 2012

How Silver the Hedgehog Ruined Everything

The Sonic the Hedgehog series is a fine series. However, it, and it's creator, SEGA, seem to be on their last legs at the moment. Here's why. We can blame all of this on a single character: Silver the Hedgehog.

Behold!

His Not-so-Notable Debut

Silver the Hedgehog first appeared in the little known PSP game Sonic Rivals. Sonic Rivals was pretty similar to the Sonic Rush and Sonic Advance games that came out around the same time. The level design was stark and linear. In addition, all the characters were carbon-copies of each other. Silver is against Eggman Nega.

The Badness Begins

The series had been in mediocrity-to-suckage for a while before Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 came out. Silver made his mainstream debut here. His gameplay was Big the Cat levels of slow and his story was a convoluted mess. Unfortunately, his gameplay was so awful, every other character was instantly branded as stupid BECAUSE OF HIM. 

Replacements, Replacements

In the spinoff game Sega Superstars Tennis, the playable Sonic characters were Sonic, Tails, Amy, Shadow, and Robotnik. Knuckles, Blaze, Big, Metal Sonic, and Silver showed up as cameos on the stag- wait, where the heck is Rouge? This was the first in a long line of undeserving replacements of poor, poor Rouge. Rouge is an interesting and compelling character. She steals jewels, but is still kind regardless. Silver is an annoying ripoff of X-Men's Cable.

The next replacement was in Sonic and the Secret Rings. The party mode roster consisted of Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Cream, Shadow, Silver, and Blaze, as well as Jet as a came- What, were the heck did Rouge go? She's only in the galleries, and even then only on box art.

Next was Super Smash Bros Brawl. Sonic was playable, Shadow was an assist, and Tails, Knuckles, and Silver showed up on Green Hill Zone. Also, Amy, Cream, Blaze, Robotnik, some Chao, and freaking Jet of all people were trophies. Why no Rouge? Why Jet and Silver?

The last straw is when they started to demonize Rouge. In the Mario and Sonic series, Rouge is alwas a boss, while Silver (who tried to kill Sonic in cold blood), Metal, and even Robotnik himself were playables.


Buy All Our Playsets and Toys

The last reason I hate Silver is because he gets so many freaking toys. Before Silver came along and gunked up the series, everyone got equal share. Now it's just Silver this, Silver that. GIVE ME FIGURES OF THE FREAKING FEMALES FOR ONCE! AND MECHA SONIC AND EGGROBO!


Goodbye Fatty

Sega has recently announced they would retire Big the Cat. Even though he's hated almost as much as Silver, he's more unique and is a better fit than Mr. Cable Ripoff.

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